As I've referenced before, my friends Hux and Sara were seniors this year at my old high school, and yes, they did graduate on Monday. Man oh man how time flies.
So I was planning on going since I knew when graduation was, but of course, me being me and oh so busy, I didn't really sit down and think about how drab a graduation ceremony could be without someone else to go with! So, at the very last second, I made a few phone calls and finally found someone who was going already with one of my acquaintances, and was more than willing to chill with me-- Hobby and his friend Zach.
Above's a picture of Brian, whom we call Hobes or Hobby (the o is long, however... I'm not really sure how to spell this...) driving us to St. Anselm's for The Great Graduation. *
*And yes. It must be capitalized and said with alliteration to make poke fun at Fitzgerald. As much as I respect the man, I just did not enjoy that book at all.
We got there a little bit later than we expected to, but at the same time, I think we all acknowledged that the real seats should be given to the parents of the graduates, not the friends out of high school. We ended up standing on this balcony near a stair well which, though it probably annoyed some of the people who wanted to get by us, made pretty good seating when our legs got tired half way through the ceremony.
Though I came to see Hux and Sara, there were a number of other graduates that I knew, mostly through chorus and drama. I didn't realize it, but one of the quietest and nicest people I have ever met through drama ended up being Salutatorian! It was super exciting, then, to hear her speech, which she entitled "No Name" and devoted to expostulating on what life would be like after high school, in a place where no one knew you, and where you'd have to start from scratch in building your reputation and the level of respect afforded you. I know personally it was really hard to transition to GMC for me because a) it was a completely different culture than my high school and b) I really didn't know anyone and I'm a fairly quiet person. During the first semester, I certainly felt like I had no name, as I had maybe one friend, was not really known for anything on campus by the other students, and none of my teachers really knew me as well as my old teachers had (though GMC profs tend to get involved with one's life more than other college profs, most of my teachers at my high school knew my entire family!) It was very different. But without that kind of insecurity, I wouldn't have grown into the person I am today... Wow was that tangent. :)
So here's the picture of Kristen, the Salutatorian giving her speech. It's really hard to see her, but may I remind you I was on a balcony.
Although I didn't get a very good shot of Sara actually receiving her diploma, I managed to get a fairly good one when she was walking back. Look at that smile. She's so proud of herself. (And I'm proud of her too!)
This picture didn't come out as well as I was hoping it would. But here is the Hux-man, happy as can be. He made it!
After the ceremony was over, I started seriously thinking about my own feelings when I graduated. I guess I really thought that my entire life was going to be altered, and I had mixed emotions about it. Part of me was scared because of the friends that I would or wouldn't make in a new place, about the friends I would lose, and because I had never really spent much time out of NH, having grown up in the same house my entire life. Part of me was excited because of the new responsibilities I would be permitted (ironically, now I'm scared about the new responsibilities I'll be afforded after college...) and because of the new adventure I was headed on.
Looking back at it now, however, I really don't think it was as big of a deal as I made it out to be. I did make new friends. A LOT of new friends. And the ones I've made have helped me so much in my path, in my life, I can't even begin to try and explain it in words-- so, really, there was no reason to be scared about not making connections. Though I was worried at the time about losing friends back home, I didn't lose my true ones-- they stayed with me regardless of distance and the amount of time we had to spend with one another. And though I've changed a lot in the past two years, I'm still the same me on the inside, I just have a better idea of what that me is. One of the only real differences is that I no longer go to school on a daily basis with many of my close friends (although even that wasn't a big difference, as most of my friends had either dropped out or already graduated by the time I was a senior). Another difference is that I have more solid goals because I'm expected to be more serious about my choices and my life, but that's a positive change, not a negative. What I'm trying to say is that I think everyone gets unnecessarily caught up about losing friends and being in a different place when they graduate. What people need to do is find their inner calm-- they need to find that reassuring warmth inside that tells them that everything's going to be alright if they will it to, if they really want it to be.
Mind you, I'm not saying that I haven't lost a couple of friends which I did mourn for a while, but lately, just recently, I've been realizing that I can call any one of them up at any time and start a conversation. It's my choice. If that person was truly a good friend of mine, we can still hang out, regardless of the changes and differences. There is truly no reason to mourn graduating. In fact, it should just be a big celebration.
There's a book called The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Steven Chbosky that comes to mind. It relates to this concept rather well because the main character spends the majority of the book wanting this or wanting that but never going for it because he's afraid he'll upset someone about it. Eventually, he falls in love and is unable to go after his true love because he doesn't want to hurt another person's feelings, until the very end of the book that is, when she tells him that sometimes you just have to go with your gut instinct regardless of the circumstances, the awkwardness, the whatever. Because I mean, if you don't take a few chances in life, it won't be that interesting. And if you just take one random chance in life, life can be completely altered. [ I would know. I'm now dating a guy based on this principle-- someone I never would have pictured myself with, but who is one of the sweetest guys I've ever gone out with. All based on a random whim, a random chance that I wouldn't ordinarily take. Imagine the places we can go!}
To conclude: on a smaller scale, what I'm trying to say is that we are the only ones preventing ourselves from retaining a friendship with an old friend. In a larger scale, I'm trying to say that we are the only ones preventing ourselves from a beautiful destiny.